Should Rap Music Be Illegal? Or Should Congress Do Some Real Work?
The day before yesterday I was sitting on my balcony, computer in hand, sipping a mocha latte cappuchino grande java, a decaf concoction of my own invention, when I came across a blurb about a congressional hearing over rap music. So I clicked on the link and got a glimpse of a truly inspiring notion: that Congress should get a group rate on a labotomy. Lemme splain somethin to yous.
I think our real Congress has been kidnapped and sent to the planet Numbnuts and replaced by what they call walk-ins. Walk-ins are like zombies, but without the disgusting faces, bad breath and vacant look in their eyes. Wait a minute, now that I think about it, there are great similarities. What’s going on with Congress, you may ask? Well, I am no political pundit or curmudgeon at large, but I smell something rotten in the land of bribes, bad spending and double-speak. What I smell is a gross waste of time. Why are they doing this? Why are they going after rap music?
I am no great fan of rap music. I find it annoying and usually vapid. The words are trite at best and at worst, demeaning, violent and immature; plus the rhyming is stupid and elementary. Is this a reason for Congress to spend time arguing that it should not exist? DEFINITELY NOT. They are wasting our money, those mofos. They are scratching their collective heads and shaking them in disbelief at words like booty, package, butt, balls and ride. Meanwhile, back in the real world, here are the issues that they are not spending OUR important time and money on:
A war in Iraq
A war in Darfur
A war in Afghanistan
A treasury that has been robbed
The Enron scandal
A real and full investigation on 9/11
Halliburton war profiteering
Bush’s assault on the English language
There are many, many more problems that Congress is ignoring in favor of a hearing on musical lyrics that are, get this, 15 years old. Plus they made millionaires take their days off to come to the hearing. Stretch limos were double parked as hot girls in see through blouses and bling smoked the ganja while having a party so wild that the sun roofs were sploding wiff clouds of second-hand smoke. People like Pee Doody, Doggy Bark and Kitty Litter & The Backdoorman were missing all of this while staring at a bunch of half-wits dressed in business attire and calling themselves representatives of the people. What people? They don’t represent me.
How two-faced is our Congress these days? They argue whether freedom of the press should be allowed. Yeah, that’s right. Truth up. They spent an inordinate amount of OUR money discussing whether moveon.org has a right to run an advertisement about political corruption. They are upset that our current administration is being called on the carpet and held accountable to We The People. Now it’s freedom of speech they are attacking, spending OUR dollars discussing rap music and dirty, naughty lyrics. As if they don’t use the same language a hundred times a day themselves. What a joke.
What’s wrong wiff these dudes? I don’t get it. If you want to attack music, go after country. It’s not their lyrics, but the music that will make you go out of your mind. Maybe Congress should be investigating this obsession country musicians have for dogs, railroads, jails, trucks and honky-tonks. Yes, that’s it. What is a honky tonk, anyhow? Sounds like code to me. Maybe a honky tonk is a pedonkadonk from the Tennessee area. Maybe a dog is like a dog, not the furry little critter that lives in our houses, but the kind of dog that goes with “What up, dogg?” Spelled wiff two g’s. You know what “trucks” rhymes with, I don’t have to spell it out to you. Country music. It’s bad stuff. Congress needs to get on it without hesitation, even if it means that health coverage for America gets put on hold or global warming is ignored for a little while as polar bears drown.
Here’s my proposal. I say you copy the following letter and send it to your congressperson right away. Do your civic duty and register a complaint:
Dear Idiot;
Pursuant to your attack on rap music, I think you should have your head examined and send the results to the New York Times. If you want to censor somebody, censor Jay Leno. He’s just not that funny. Or censor your own damn selves, ’cause we’re sick of you. If you don’t stop wasting OUR money on such ridiculous hearings, for Christmas I’m going to send your kids the latest Afroman, Snoop Doggy Dogg and 50 Cent CDs, personally autographed.
Warm regards to you and your limo driver,
(Your name goes here)
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October 17th, 2007 at 7:51 pm
I agree with Vic Shayne even though he may not like rap music such as I do. Congress needs to quit worrying about things like rap music or any music for that matter. Rap music you here on the public airwaves is already heavily edited for your children’s sake… What more do you want? The same type of explicit lyrics comes from all genres of music from rap to rock to country. So what’s next congress let’s just ban all music? Then it will be video games since you can (with a remote control) act out violent actions and see them take place. Then it will be movies you know since you can visually see what the writer of a movie is talking about. Then it will be grandparents and family since that is where I actually learned vulgar language. What are you going to do congress ban everything…. That is what you are leading up to. We could sit here and criticise everything anyone likes.
I have grown up listening to rap music and will continue listening to rap music and you know what I have a wife and a kid and I don’t hit them. I have never been to jail. I don’t drink and I don’t do drugs and I graduated and went to college. You know why I don’t because my parents kept me under control and taught me right from wrong. What happpened to a good ole fashioned whooping. Parents have become soft and thier kids are running the household. Why? Not because of rap music. I have never heard a rap song in all of the 500 + rap albums I own say kids beat up your parents and tell them what to do. So think about it for a minute.
People in congress your kids may be going crazy and doing drugs and beating on you maybe it is because you haven’t raised them correctly. If you’re a parent step back and take a look in the mirror. Are you doing what you should with your kids? Do you even know where your kids are? Today is the day for you people to wake up from your apparent trance and having something blame everything on except for the real blame YOURSELF!!!!!
America has become a place where we want to blame everyone else for their misdoings. It is always someone else’s fault!!!!
So does the real problem exist in the media or in the parents. When I was a kid I would’ve got a beaten if i acted like some of the people’s kids I see now; you know why because people would’ve helped if I was acting bad instead of calling the cops on my parents for trying to teach me right.
A note to new parents make sure your kid listens from the get go. Don’t abuse them but make sure they know wrong from right. A little belt to the bottom never hurt anyone.
Hyperstatik
October 20th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Hyperstatik: Word. That was beautifully put. You make a very strong argument, and you make a hell of a lot of sense.
I myself do not like rap music. Not even a little bit. I can’t even be in earshot of it. It depresses me. **BUT** — I say, who the hell do they think they are, debating whether ANY kind of music should be outlawed? What right do they have to make legislative decisions about aesthetic choice? My God, the last thing I want ANYONE to tell me, or tell my fellow humans, is what kind of music is LEGAL. They are our elected representatives, not our DADDIES!